War is very sad for all of us, more so because our soldiers are battling not just the enemy but elements too. But, for a child images of soldiers atop mountain ridges firing mortars are just another of those incomprehensible things which he tries to untangle with the help of elders.

And, it hasn't been an easy task for me. Maybe, it was easier telling him why only girls had long hair, or why sun didn't rise in the west. What I had on hand had to do with emotions. About friendship, love, anger, hatred and death.

Possibly I could have said, "Hey, you won't understand all these. Why don't you go out and play." But science tells us that children's curiosity must be handled without losing one's cool and in a way that will only develop in them the pursuit of exploration.

Considering the fact that childhood impressions make deep dents on minds and even colour judgements in later life, I was quite wary of taking his questions and chose to weigh the answers.

IS THIS AFRICA?

Trucks full of soldiers. Shells going off. Suddenly he seemed to take a liking to News. "Is this Africa?"
"No, these are very tall mountains. It's very cold out there. Those white things are snow..."

"These mountains are in Africa?" He seemed to be more intelligent than a school teacher whom I had fooled once by giving an inaccurate answer. "It is in Kashmir. It is not in Africa. That is far away. This is in India, in our country."

"People in Kashmir are fighting?"
"Our soldiers are trying to drive away some people who have come into our country without permission. We won't like if someone comes to our house without our permission, will we?...."

WHO ARE FIGHTING: PEOPLE OR COUNTRIES?

My wife and I had taken extra care to make sure that he did not take fancy to toy guns. He had just a couple of them, because denying them would only draw him more to them. Now, suddenly I wondered whether all those efforts were going in vain.

He was seeing not fictitious characters fighting but people in flesh and blood, our own Indians. What signal will that send to an impressionable mind? I had no clue.

The Outlook magazine with the word "war" printed in bold on the cover caught his eye. "What is war?"
"It's only another word for fighting. When two countries fight it is called war."

"Only countries are now fighting and not people?"
I groped for an answer. I, in fact, wanted to say, "Yes, people are not fighting. It is the politicians, who all these 50 years couldn't solve the Kashmir problem. And two countries are fighting for such an inhospitable place!"

Then there was the India Today magazine with its cover showing the coffins of Indian soldiers being brought home. "What is this?"
"They are the bodies of Indian soldiers who died in Kashmir being brought home..."
"Pictures of Pakistani soldiers will appear in Pakistan's India Today?"
"Yes.." I said with a smile.

ONE MORE GENERATION LOST

There was no end to doubts. "What is a shell? Is it bigger than bomb? Is Kashmir near Bangalore? Will shells fall on our house? ...So we won't get killed?"

Then, one day just when there was TV wasn't showing the News, when there was no newspaper or magazine lying around, when no one was even talking of war, this six-year-old just popped this question: "Are Pakistanis bad people?"

"No, my dear. Pakistanis are not bad people. It is just that some bad people are fighting with Indian soldiers. We are just trying to drive them out...."

"Are Pakistani's bad people?" -- there must be many more children asking that question. One more generation grows up learning Pakistan is our enemy, reinforcing many analysts' view that one reason why Kashmir problem is so difficult to solve is the prejudice reinforced by stereotyping.

That is why an Indo-Pak match is different from one against any other or cultural exchange with that country has become difficult. Perhaps the coming generation could have been spared. It's too late.

They seemed to have already inherited the troubled Kashmir legacy. That's when we are not really at war, when life across the nation is going on as normal. Now, what if a full-scale war breaks out?